When responsibility starts costing you joy

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There’s a quiet pattern I noticed in myself recently — one that surprised me.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve almost bought the shoes.
I’ve almost put money toward the treadmill.
I’ve almost paid a bill.

And every time… I stopped.

Not because I didn’t have the money.
But because of something deeper.

A friend gave me $50 as a Christmas gift and said very clearly:
Not for groceries. Not for bills. Not for anything practical. Spend this on yourself.

That $50 is still sitting in my wallet.

I’ve held it. Imagined what I could do with it. Got close to spending it. And every time I did, something appeared — a bill, a need, a familiar inner voice reminding me what would be “more responsible.”

What surprised me most wasn’t the hesitation.

It was the weight.

That gift didn’t feel joyful.
It felt heavy.

And that’s when I realized this wasn’t about money at all.

When something feels harder than it should, it’s usually not about the thing itself.

If it had really been about the $50, it would have already been gone. Bills are loud. Urgency is persuasive. Responsibility knows exactly how to get our attention.

Joy, on the other hand, whispers.

For a long time, responsibility felt like a badge of honor for me. I worked hard. I didn’t spend frivolously. I earned everything I had. Especially as a single parent, money was for survival — never for me.

Somewhere along the way, receiving without earning, fixing, or justifying started to feel unsafe.

And that belief stayed quiet… until it was touched.

Here’s what this little $50 gift taught me:

If you hesitate, negotiate, or delay, you’ve probably touched a belief — not a budget.

Responsibility can sometimes be wisdom.
And sometimes it’s fear dressed up nicely.

Paying the bills feels safe. Choosing joy can feel risky. Not because joy is wrong — but because somewhere inside there may be an old agreement that says, If I choose myself, something bad will happen.

But here’s the reframe I want you to hear:

Choosing yourself isn’t irresponsible.
It’s respectful.

It teaches your nervous system that good things don’t automatically disappear.

You don’t loosen limiting beliefs by force.
You loosen them with awareness.

And awareness is momentum.

3 Quotes to Ponder:

Thought Experiments to Try Today:

1. Notice where you postpone joy in the name of being responsible.
Not to fix it. Just to see it.

2. Ask yourself gently:
What do I think would happen if I let myself receive freely — without explanation?

Let the answers rise without editing.

Honest noticing is the first real shift.Awareness alone begins to loosen old limits.

Action Step Journal Prompt

Where in my life am I postponing joy in the name of responsibility — and what would choosing myself look like today, even in a small way?

Pause first. Take a few quiet breaths.
Then write honestly.

Sometimes growth doesn’t look bold.
Sometimes it looks like a $50 bill sitting patiently in your wallet.

Would you like a little support with that?
Let's change your inner script together.

Book I’m Reflecting On This Week

The Compound Effect (10th Anniversary Edition)
👉 https://amzn.to/4kaCOfB

This book is a powerful reminder that small, consistent shifts ,especially internal ones create massive change over time.

Awareness compounds.
So does self-trust.You don’t have to do it alone or keep looping the same thought patterns that aren't serving you.

As the Year Turns…

Tonight, a lot of people are thinking about what they’re leaving behind — quietly, privately, without announcements or resolutions.

If smoking has been on your mind lately, not as a habit you’re ready to fight, but as something that no longer fits the life you’re moving toward, this moment matters.

Most smokers underestimate what smoking actually costs them.
Not just the money — though that adds up fast.

A pack a day can quietly cost thousands each year.
But there are other costs we don’t talk about as much.

Stepping outside while everyone else stays in.
Leaving early.
Standing alone during moments meant to be shared.

As smoking becomes less common, that separation gets louder — even when no one says a word.

Most people who smoke don’t think they’re “addicted.”
They think they’re the exception.

Until one day… something shifts.

I offer stop-smoking hypnosis for people who are genuinely ready to enter a new chapter — not through willpower or white-knuckling, but by becoming a non-smoker in a way that feels natural… almost as if smoking was never part of who you were.

If this thought is crossing your mind tonight, the first step isn’t quitting.
It’s a conversation.

📅 Schedule time with me here:
https://calendly.com/theenlightenedpeach/get-unstuck

Or simply reply to this email with a question or a few honest thoughts. I read every message.

No resolutions required.
Just honesty, clarity, and the possibility of starting the year unburdened.

 🧠 Want More Support? Join My Skool.
You don’t need another course.
You need a community that gets you.

In my Skool group, you’ll get access to weekly mindset drops, group coaching calls, and a space to grow safely and powerfully—on your own terms.
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With love,
Vickie 🍑
Life is delicious.