When mindset isn’t the problem

Because identity shapes what it feels safe to become.

Author

Vickie Poole
December 19, 2025

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There’s a quiet frustration I hear again and again.

It comes from people who have done the mindset work.
They’ve learned the tools. They’ve shifted their thinking. They know what to do.

And yet… something still isn’t moving.

Not consistently.
Not sustainably.
Not in the way they expected.

For a long time, I believed that meant more effort was needed.
More discipline. A better strategy. A sharper mindset.

But what I’ve learned — both personally and through my work — is that mindset is rarely the real issue.

Mindset is what we think.
Identity is who we believe we’re allowed to be.

And you cannot think your way into a life your identity doesn’t feel safe holding.

That’s where invisible ceilings come from.

It’s why people hit income plateaus.
Why consistency drops right after success.
Why growth feels exciting one moment… and heavy the next.

Not because something is wrong.
But because an internal system is trying to protect what’s familiar.

Your nervous system is incredibly loyal.
It will always choose what it knows over what’s unfamiliar — even when the unfamiliar is what you truly want.

When I finally understood this, the self-blame dissolved.

I wasn’t stuck.
I wasn’t failing.
I was outgrowing an identity.

Growth doesn’t come from forcing yourself forward.
It comes from allowing your inner world to update to match where you’re going.

And when that happens…
momentum becomes natural.

New Podcast Episode

I just released a new episode of Today’s Dream, Tomorrow’s Reality called:

Why Mindset Alone Isn’t Enough

In this episode, I talk about:

  • the difference between mindset and identity

  • why success often triggers self-sabotage

  • how an internal “financial thermostat” quietly regulates what we allow ourselves to earn and keep

  • and why awareness — not force — is what actually creates change

Listen when you have space.
Nothing here needs to change today.

3 Quotes to Ponder:

“Mindset can spark change — identity determines whether it lasts.”

“You don’t sabotage success; you return to what feels familiar.”

“Growth becomes natural when safety catches up with desire.”

Thought Experiments to Try Today:

1.Consider the idea of an internal thermostat — one that regulates what feels safe in your life.

Notice where things seem to level out:
income, relationships, visibility, ease, consistency.

If you imagine that thermostat has a setting, what does it feel calibrated to right now?

You don’t need to change it.
Just notice it.

2.Financial Thermostat Reflection

Take a few quiet breaths before answering.

Then explore this question:

What amount of money feels familiar and “normal” for me — and what beliefs about safety, worth, or effort might be keeping it there?

Write without editing.
There’s no right answer.

Honest noticing is the first real shift.Awareness alone begins to loosen old limits.

1 Action Step Journal Prompt:
What’s one old belief you’re ready to retire?

(Pro tip: start with the one that feels small. You’ll be amazed what comes up.)

Would you like a little support with that?
Let's change your inner script together.

Book I’m Reflecting On This Week

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
👉 https://amzn.to/3EKUKNY

This book explores the idea of “upper limits” — the unconscious barriers that appear when we begin to exceed what feels familiar or safe.

It’s a powerful companion to the ideas in this week’s podcast, especially if you’ve ever noticed things falling apart right after things start going well.

Sometimes the leap isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about allowing yourself to stay.

You don’t have to do it alone or keep looping the same thought patterns that aren't serving you.

Schedule Time With Me

Right now, I’m opening space for a few private conversations.

This is for people who feel stuck at an identity or money ceiling — not because they don’t know what to do, but because something deeper is ready to shift.

If this resonates, I’d love to start with a conversation.

🧠 Want More Support? Join My Skool.
You don’t need another course.
You need a community that gets you.

In my Skool group, you’ll get access to weekly mindset drops, group coaching calls, and a space to grow safely and powerfully—on your own terms.
🎓 Get one week free here