When Confidence Isn't Missing, It's Just Catching Up

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There's this moment I witness sometimes that just stops me in my tracks.

A woman is standing right at the edge of something big. And from where I'm sitting, she is ready. She has the experience, the wisdom, the voice. She has done the work. And yet, she pauses.

Not because she doesn't know what to do.

But because part of her is still catching up to who she has become.

I've seen it in my clients. I've seen it in women I admire. And honestly? I've lived it myself.

Here's what I've come to understand about that pause:

It's not weakness. It's not a lack of confidence. It's actually a sign that you've been growing fast. And sometimes our identity needs a little more time to catch up with everything our life is becoming.

I call it identity lag.

Your opportunities expand. Your visibility expands. Your life expands. But somewhere inside, part of you is still operating from an older version of yourself, the one who learned to stay small, stay safe, stay familiar.

And that part? She's not trying to sabotage you. She's trying to protect you.

Think about a thermostat for a second. It's not broken when it tries to cool a room down, it's just doing what it was programmed to do. Keep things comfortable. Keep things known.

But what if comfortable is no longer where you belong?

What if the discomfort you're feeling isn't a warning sign but an invitation?

Here's the truth that has changed everything for me and for the women I work with:

Confidence doesn't come from forcing yourself to feel ready. It comes from letting the next version of you take the lead one small decision at a time.

Not proving. Not performing. Just becoming.

And it often starts with something tiny. Speaking up when you'd normally go quiet. Holding a boundary you used to soften. Choosing what's aligned over what's approved of.

Little by little, the unfamiliar becomes your new normal. And one day you look back and realize you didn't become someone else entirely.

You just finally let more of yourself show up.

3 Quotes to Sit With This Week

"Self-doubt isn't the enemy it's often a sign your identity is expanding."

"Confidence grows through aligned action, not perfect certainty."

"Micro decisions quietly reshape who you believe you're allowed to be."

Two Thought Experiments Worth Trying

The Identity Mirror

Close your eyes and picture the version of you six months from now, grounded, clear, fully visible, and so comfortable in her own skin. Now ask her gently: what small decision would she make today that you're still hesitating to make?

The Thermostat Check-In

Where is life asking you to grow right now in your visibility, your income, your voice, your boundaries? Instead of asking "am I ready?" try asking: what tiny action would turn my inner thermostat up just one degree today?

This Week’s Affirmation

Write this somewhere you'll actually see it:

"I allow my identity to expand with my growth. I move forward with clarity, trust, and aligned action."

Let this be an invitation, not pressure. There's a difference and your nervous system knows it.

Journal Prompt

Find a few quiet minutes, maybe with your favorite cup of something warm and explore this honestly:

Where am I still operating from an older version of myself? And what one micro decision today would reflect the woman I'm becoming instead?

Transformation doesn't arrive all at once. It unfolds one honest moment at a time.

Book I’m Reflecting On This Week

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy 👉 https://amzn.to/4kaCOfB

This one pairs beautifully with everything we just talked about. Darren Hardy makes the case that massive change rarely comes from a single dramatic moment, it comes from small, repeated actions that quietly build momentum until one day you look up and everything is different.

Sound familiar? That's identity work. That's exactly what micro decisions do over time.

If you haven't read it, it's worth your time.

Ready to Go Deeper?

Here's the thing about identity lag you can't always think your way out of it. And that's not a flaw in you. It's just how the subconscious mind works. It holds the patterns. It runs the programming. And no amount of positive thinking reaches it at that level.

That's exactly why I do what I do.

For the next few days I'm opening 5 spots for a Mini Hypnosis Intensive, 45 focused minutes where we go directly to the subconscious pattern that's keeping you stuck and begin to shift it at the root.

Not surface level. Not symptom chasing. Identity level.

$147. Only 5 spots. When they're gone, they're gone.

👉 Book your Mini Hypnosis Intensive here

You'll answer six simple questions when you book ,not as homework, but as a head start so we can spend every one of those 45 minutes creating real change instead of getting acquainted.

You don't have to force confidence, sweet friend.

You just have to let the version of you who already knows, take the next step.

With love,
Vickie 🍑
Life is delicious.

Remember, I'm here to support you on this journey!

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