Looking Back Without Getting Stuck

How reflection becomes wisdom instead of regret

Author

Vickie Poole
February 04, 2026

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There’s a moment most of us know well.

You’re walking, driving, folding laundry , doing something ordinary and suddenly your mind drifts backward.

A decision you made.
A moment you didn’t choose differently.
A path you didn’t take.

And before you realize it, you’re time-traveling.

If I had done that instead…
If I had known then what I know now…

That spiral is human.
But it has two very different destinations.

One leads to shame and second-guessing.
The other leads to wisdom and better choices today.

The difference isn’t what you remember.
It’s how you look at it.

Here’s the reframe that stopped me in my tracks this week:

I’m not here to judge my past self.
I’m here to learn from her.

Past you made decisions with the tools, awareness, support, and healing available at that time.
Of course present-day you sees things differently, you have new eyes now.

That doesn’t mean you were wrong.
It means you’ve grown.

Regret is often just evidence that you’ve expanded.

Reflection was never meant to be punishment.
Its purpose is precision.

We don’t look back to live there.
We look back to collect the lesson and keep walking.

3 Quotes to Ponder:

  1. “You don’t regret decisions because you were wrong , you regret them because you’ve evolved.”

  2. “Reflection becomes harmful only when it forgets to harvest the lesson.”

  3. “Looking back is useful when it helps you choose forward.”

    Thought Experiments to Try Today

1. The Two Paths Check-In
Think of one decision you’ve been replaying lately.
Now ask: When I revisit this, do I tend to walk toward shame… or toward wisdom?

Then choose one sentence to redirect the path:
“I’m not here to punish myself. I’m here to learn.”
Notice what shifts in your body when you say it.

2. The Past-Self Interview
Imagine your past self sitting across from you as the version of you who made that decision.
Ask her three questions (and write the answers without editing):

  • What were you trying to protect?

  • What did you need most right then?

  • What would have helped you feel safer choosing differently?

This turns reflection into compassion… and compassion turns into better choices.

This Week’s Affirmation: Write this somewhere you’ll see it today:

Let this be a kindness ,not a correction.

Journal Prompt

Set aside a few quiet minutes and explore this honestly:

What decision have I been replaying lately?
What did it teach me about what I needed then,
what I value now,
and how I want to move forward?

You’re not excavating the past to stay there.
You’re gathering wisdom so you don’t have to repeat it.

Book I’m Reflecting On This Week

The Intention Experiment by Lynne McTaggart
👉 https://amzn.to/41BSuSd

This book explores the science and collective power of intention and how focused awareness can influence outcomes, perception, and even healing.

What struck me most is how closely it mirrors this week’s reflection:
when intention shifts, decisions shift.

The past doesn’t need to be rewritten, but your intention moving forward can absolutely be refined. This book is a fascinating reminder that consciousness isn’t passive… it participates. If you find yourself needing support, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Sometimes asking for help is the next stone appearing.

Ready for a Powerful Next Step?

If you’re done circling the same pattern and you’re ready to choose differently, I’m offering a limited number of Decision Reset Sessions this week.

This is a private 45-minute session where we get laser clear on your next move and set it in on a subconscious and somatic level so you can move forward with clarity, peace, and self-trust.

It’s not mindset homework.
It’s not a pep talk.
It’s deep guided work.

Book your Decision Reset here:
👉 https://buy.stripe.com/cNi6oG2NPdr10qlczm6wE0V

With love,
Vickie 🍑
Life is delicious.

Remember, I'm here to support you on this journey!

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